Kings Of Lame

So by now most everyone knows about the debacle over the weekend at the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater. Kings Of Leon performed three songs of their set and abruptly walked off stage. The official reason given was that the band felt the conditions were too unsanitary to continue. Apparently there are currently pigeons living up in the rafters and one of them pooped in the bass player's mouth. Maybe the bird just thought the band sucked, I don't know. But I do know a lame excuse when I hear one. I call shenanigans.

First of all, I've never seen any other band stop a show on account of bird poop. If you play outside, you take that risk. You risk bugs flying into your mouth, right? So it's not a big leap to bird poop. And it's not like this is the first person who's had this happen. Most famously, Cyndi Lauper got a mouthful at an outdoor show...and she kept singing. She finished the show. So the bass player from KOL gets hit and can't continue? What, no Listerine backstage? Wash it out, man up and get back out there.

Oh, and stop blaming the venue. Hey, it's my home venue and I hate it as much as anyone. Yet I don't blame them for nature. They can only do so much to control the birds, it's illegal in most places to spread poison or shoot 'em, so the venue has to do what it can in other ways. Blaming the venue for pigeons is just as dumb as blaming them for wind, rain, or temperature change. Hey, if the concert was cancelled due to rain, because equipment was shorting out and the risk of being electrocuted was high, most people wouldn't complain. But that's not what this is.

Another possible reason sighted for the cancellation was the heat. You remember I mentioned the stifling heat a week before in Chicago at the Iron Maiden concert. Apparently it was the same story here, as on the very same night Mike Campbell from Tom Petty's band suffered heat related illness. He is reported to have played the last three songs of the main set sitting down. There was a rather long pause in the show, and Petty himself came out to tell the crowd that Campbell was ill but to hand in there and they'd try to do some more. Ten minutes later, Campbell, Petty and company came back out for what was by all accounts a high energy rocking encore. So, um, I'm guessing the heat wasn't it.

So I've deduced two things from this whole situation. Neither of these excuses hold much water. Granted, no-one wants to be pooped on, and I certainly wouldn't wish it on anyone, but c'mon. This sounds to me like a band who didn't want to put on a show that night so they found an excuse not to perform. Very W. Axl Rose, but that's not a compliment. This also illustrates how lame rock fans have become...when Axl walked off stage there were riots, now people just wait for their refund...but that's a different story.

The other logical conclusion is that Kings Of Leon are a bunch of wussies. Dudes, Cyndi Lauper and Tom Petty's guitar player are both tougher than you. That is so not cool, and I like those two artists. But come on, you're one of the biggest rock band out there. Earn it. Look, I enjoyed the latest KOL album, and liked their first two even more, Aha Shake Heartbreak particularly. So I've got no real problem with them musically (they could be a little less dirty, but whatever).

I just think that a rock band should act like one. You've embarrassed yourself here guys, by acting like Diva rock stars instead of the dirty, groove laden, sex and party rockers you've made yourself out to be. You've killed the image. The music stinks of grit and sweat...but this act stinks of dishonesty. And that smells worse than pigeon poop any day.

Wow, I didn't even go to this show and I'm this ticked off about it. I also spent way too much time on it, I was going to touch on a few more things in this post, but I guess they'll wait for next time. See you all soon.