Yesterday my son Patterson decided he wanted to go outside and ride his tricycle. Apparently, two viewings of the Care Bears "Oopsy Does It" movie was more than sufficient for him. It's not actually as bad as it sounds, and has a fun little song by Kay Hanley (formerly of super awesome '90s alt-rock band Letters To Cleo), but two sittings inspired the boy to get the heck out of the house. This in turn inspired his sisters to do the same so we all went out front for a little play before dinner.
Now, we haven't got the bikes out for months, so there were a few hitches. Helmet sizes need to be reevaluated before Spring kicks in, and for some reason I've never bought a bicycle pump so not every body's tires exactly had what you'd call air in them. Melody's bike and helmet were perfect so she was off and moving right away. Tessa's helmet fit pretty well, but her tires were non-starters. So she rode her little brother's big boy bike for a while, but it didn't really fit her so that didn't last too long. Eventually I wound up playing soccer with the girls in the side yard.
But what about the boy? Wasn't this whole thing his idea to begin with? Why did his sister ride his bike? Come on, what gives?
Well, see, Patterson's idea was to ride his tricycle. Trouble is, he's too big for his trike. He has a big boy bike inherited from cousin Alex, but he's not very good at it so he is intimidated by the thing. So being the Daddy I encouraged him to ride the bike. I tried to be as encouraging as possible, but it did not go well. The conversation went something along the lines of:
"Buddy, you're too big for your tricycle. Let's ride your big boy bike!"
"No. I don't want to. I can't ride it."
"Sure you can. You can do it. I'll help."
"NO. I want tricycle."
"Patterson, the tricycle is for little boys."
"I am a little boy."
"No, you're my big boy. Let's go ride your bike!"
At this point he burst into tears and ran inside to his mother screaming, "Daddy only likes bicycles...He doesn't like ME!"
Ouch. That one hurt. A part of me wanted to relent, but I did not. At this point I had a "Parenting Decision" to make. I can't very well teach the boy that crying and making a big deal out of an issue will get him his way. Sometimes it will, but it shouldn't be a habit. Besides there are plenty of people out there to teach him the wrong way to do things so I should stand my ground and be consistent as possible.
It did trouble me though that his thought process went straight to "Daddy doesn't like me". I expect to get the occasional "I hate you"s from the kids in their pre-teen/teenage years, but I never want them to think I don't like them, or love them for that matter. Granted, he's only three years old so that has a lot to do with it but it still didn't sit right.
So I tried to play with him a little extra last night and told him I loved him a few extra times as well. by this morning he was saying "I love you" back to me, so we seem to be back to normal. I knew we would be, but it's still nice to know.
Maybe we'll try again next weekend if the weather holds up. I think the tricycle is going to disappear, and that will get him on the big boy bike. But his helmet is too small, I'm just wondering how that's gonna go...
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