Music One Liners

I haven't really been able to come up with a good blog topic this week, so here's a bunch of one-liners about music and musicians. You don't necessarily need to be a musician to get these, there should still be a few chuckles for you. Here goes.

What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?
A drummer.

What do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend?
Homeless.

What's the difference between a harmonica player walking down the street and a duck in a taxi cab?
The duck's probably on the way to a gig.

What has 9 arms and sucks?
Def Leppard.*

How do you get two piccolo players to play in perfect unison?
Shoot one.

What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
Who cares, neither one is a guitar.

How can you tell the stage is level?
The bass player is drooling out of both sides of his mouth.

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
Two, one to do it and one to show him how Entwhistle would have done it.

How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just steal someone else's light.

What do you say to a drummer in a 3 piece suit?
"Will the defendant please rise..."

What's another name for a gay toilet?
Elton John.

Ever hear the one about the guitar player who was in tune?
Me neither.

What do you throw your bass player if he's drowning?
His amp.

Why are so many musician jokes one liners?
So the musicians can understand them.

How many guitar players does it take to cover a Stevie Ray Vaughn song?
Apparently all of them.

What does a stripper do with her asshole before she goes to work?
Drops him off at band practice.

Did you hear about the keyboard player who hooked up with the hottest chick at the gig?
Of course not, it never happened.

And finally, my favorite...

What did the Grateful Dead fan say when he ran out of weed?
"Man, this music sucks."

I'll do something more relateable next time. Or at least more accessible jokes.

Cheers!

*Actually, as a child of the 80's I like Def Lep, but that's a good one.