With Apologies To Tim Allen...

Tessa got her slide today. I had to build it. I hate building things. I get frustrated very easily and curse a lot. Which invariably makes the experience a bad one, especially if there's someone else involved who's just trying to help. Today wasn't so bad, I didn't really snap or say anything too out of line, but then my helper is amazingly pregnant...Anyway, Tessa enjoys the slide and I'm glad we could get it for her.

The thing is I'm just not wired to be a tool guy. I mean, I can use them well enough, I just don't enjoy it. If a tool is in my hand then either something is broken and I'm trying to avoid calling a guy, or the kids got a new toy. Now, some guys work on stuff around the house because they actually do enjoy it. I mean, sure, everyone wants their house to look nice but I take on projects out of necessity...these guys actually like doing that kind of stuff. I can't imagine.

And then there are some men who build stuff for fun. Not like cars or anything like that, they just make things. My father in law is like that, give the man some wood and tools to use on it and he's a happy guy. Which is fine, he does good work. There's nothing wrong with being a tool guy...I'm just not one. Now, I do like gadgets...but that's a whole other thing.

I know this goes against the conventional thinking but then conventional has never been my strong suit. It's supposed to be all manly to fix everything inside your house and out, build furniture, dig a pond, pave a path across the back yard to the combination garden shed/guesthouse you built after cutting down the trees yourself, and on and on...but I don't care. I think it's boring, tedious, and often unnecessary.

Now, don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with physical labor. I did it professionally for years. What can I say, being paid helps. But I did enjoy being a maintenance professional (that's fancy talk for janitor), and there are other labor jobs that I'd consider doing if need be. Often times those types of jobs are referred to as "menial labor", mostly by people who sit in offices and have an unhealthy obsession with titles and plaques on the wall.

Well, I'm here to tell you, it ain't menial if you're the one doing it. There is a physical toll to be taken, as well as having to do a lot of problem solving (no two days are alike-you never know what's going to come up), all while dealing with special requests from clients which often make little sense, smiling and being friendly with the clients so the company looks good, and taking a whole heaping pile of sh*t via complaints about jobs that were done right (and usually messed up by the suit and tie guy doing the complaining). I did this type of job for most of my twenties and have given myself considerable damage to my back, knees and feet because of it-not to mention the lump in my lung from all the chemical exposure. It's not just the janitorial jobs either, this applies to construction, assembly lines, landscapers, etc. So when I complain about this stuff, it's not because I'm some candy-assed, lazy slacker who just can't handle doing "man's work". I've done plenty of it.

But I still don't enjoy it. I can do most projects around the house that need doing-and even if I've never done it before I can usually figure things out. I'd just rather be doing something else, like reading a good book, watching a film, playing or listening to music, writing, or venting on my blog to people who got bored about three paragraphs ago. That's all.

Have fun on the slide, Tessa. I (well, we) built it just for you. You do have to share with your siblings and cousins, but it's still your present. Daddy loves you lots. You can tell, I actually built something for you. Now, Valerie, about that cabinet...