Happy Christhanksmaween!

Have you noticed that over the past five years or so that Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas have just sorta blended together into one big glop? I mean, Halloween has become huge and poor Thanksgiving is just a stop-gap between the two big holidays and is sometimes just viewed as the night before Black Friday. At the store today I saw Christmas stockings hanging over Halloween costumes two aisles down from horn of plenty centerpieces. I think retailers should begin referring to this time of year (late Sept. through early Dec.) as Christhanksmaween. I was going to call it Hallowgivingmas but that's a little unwieldy, and a little too accurate.


So in that spirit I present this year's horror movie list, featuring films that focus on the holidays.



Halloween:
1. Dark Night Of The Scarecrow
This is a forgotten classic that relies on story, atmosphere and characters to succeed as opposed to the ultra-violence, buckets of blood approach. Quick version: little girl is friends with local retarded man, Bubba. Little girl is found bloodied, mangled and presumed dead. Local rednecks decide Bubba killed her, and set out to seek justice. Bubba hides as a scarecrow in a field but they find and kill him. Turns out the girl was attacked by a dog, she's alive and Bubba saved her. Rednecks cover up the crime, but as Halloween approaches, the scarecrow begins showing up in their fields and picking them off. Is someone out for revenge? Or is something even more sinister going on?

I can't recommend this enough. Charles Durning is in this as the main baddie, and he's fantastic as always. Dark Night Of The Scarecrow was originally released as a made for TV movie in 1981 and has obtained a semi-legendary status among horror fans since. It plays and feels like a full fledged theatrical movie, which is how it was filmed. That's why it still stands up. Quality stuff folks.

2. TrickRTreat
I know I raved about this last year, but it's good enough that I want to remind people to give it a look. An anthology horror film set on Halloween night in a small town that takes it all seriously. The stories in the film all intertwine in interesting ways. Minor characters in one story become the focus of another, and some events are directly affected by others in separate stories. And it's all overseen by a creepy little guy named Sam, the mascot of the movie and keeper of the rules of Halloween. TrickRTreat is tons of fun, with some genuine scares, creepy moments, sick humor and surprises to keep the viewer engaged all the way through.

Thanksgiving:
1.Thankskilling
Man, Thanksgiving horror movies are seriously messed up. You will know whether this movie is
for you or not by the next four word sentence. Talking killer turkey puppet. And that's all you really need to know. Lots of blood and some pretty disgusting slasher style kills...done by a turkey. Too bad a movie to be good, but too stupid not to like.

2. Blood Freak
And you thought Thankskilling was weird. Blood Freak is the story of a young man back in the early seventies who, through a strange series of events winds up working at a turkey farm where two scientists are working on making a bigger turkey for the Thanksgiving season, and also becomes addicted to drugs after being given a super joint by his Christian girlfriend's no good sister. Got that? Doesn't matter, the movie sucks anyway, but I sat through it so the least you could do is read all this.

Now, our recently drugged out friend is forced to taste the genetically engineered birds, and has horrible consequences...he turns into a giant monster turkey! Well, he has a turkey head anyway, but if the producers had more money he'd be a monster. Oh, and the story stops throughout the film to give the director a chance to appear and comment on the action. Anyhoo, it's kinda hard to score drugs when you have a giant turkey head, so the dude becomes a vampire-drinking the blood of other addicts.

Wow this is horrible. But if you like bad movies, or are in the mood for a pro Christian/Anti drug movie with a good amount of gore in it, this is for you. I told ya, Thanksgiving movies are messed up.

Christmas:
1.Christmas Evil (a.k.a. You Better Watch Out)
Okay, cheap exploitative title but this film is better than it sounds, or in fact has any right to be. But then, the same could be said for asparagus, so...

Here's the story of Harry, and he's got a problem dealing with Christmas. As a child he saw something disturbing on Christmas Eve and has had issues ever since. At first, it's small stuff but after a while Harry tries to be the real Santa. He spies on local children, making a list of naughty and nice kids, and delivering them presents accordingly. Well, long story short he has a mental breakdown and bad things happen (to naughty adults, not kids) and it all goes off the rails. A true cult classic, and the favorite Christmas movie of none other than John Waters.

By the way, this movie predates the truly exploitative Santa as slasher movie Silent Night Deadly Night by several years. So if it seems familiar, that's why.

Bonus: Season Of Belief (Tales From The Dark Side t.v. show)
I don't like most Christmas horror movies (a few, but we'll save them for later), but I wanted to share this episode with those who may not be familiar. I saw this as a kid and it scared the hell out of me. In a defensive move, my brain had changed the ending and name of the creature so I couldn't properly recall the experience. I found it on you tube recently and re-watched. Though I know the ending now, and am seeing it through the eyes of a veteran horror movie fan I still like it. Pretty predictable but still kinda cool.

The idea here is that it's Christmas Eve, and this particular family has decided there will be no t.v. for the kids, just a quiet evening. The kids ask for a story, but not a Santa one. So Dad gets the idea of telling them a scary story. On Christmas Eve. Oh, this can't end well. And it doesn't. That's all I'll say about it as any more would be a spoiler for anyone who looks it up. Maybe it's not quite as good as I think it is, but it should be a good watch. Oh, and it's the single greatest "Santa exists" propaganda piece I've ever seen.

So there you have it, the 2010 Halloween movie post, and on time to boot. To the best of my knowledge all of the above features are available on DVD, Netflix, or You Tube. So you should be able to seek out any titles that interest you. If nothing else, see the Scarecrow thing. It's really good.

I'll be back with more stuff.